i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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