I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
