Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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