Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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