Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
