If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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