i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
