it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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