Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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