what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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