I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
