Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
