And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
