found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
