we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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