Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
