Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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