is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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