Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
