A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
