Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
