i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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