That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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