if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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