Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
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reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
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My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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