if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
