this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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