haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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