grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize