I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
