I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
