I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
