Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
