Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
