I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
