guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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