Pregnant stripper...not hot.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He did a backflip because drugs
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