Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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