She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
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i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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