Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize