scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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