You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I could make wine with my vomit
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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