it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
