Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Do vagina's smell?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Everyone says I win the strip club
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
