I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
