I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
