Its about making memories worth repressing
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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