The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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