You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
