Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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