drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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