How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
