i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
