no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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