I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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