Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
