we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Randomize
