What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
