I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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