Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
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I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
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This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
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