Dual....:-)
there was a trapeze. enough said
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
