Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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